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Lament of the Round Steak; Veggi Burger Harassment

Sun, 24 May 2009 19:22:00 -0400

Dear My Devoted Literary Slaves (Not),

First off, I write this article, not to make anyone angry, but to simply state the unjustice that has been done to me. If this article offends you in any way, I would love for you to tell me, but please, refrain from using any harsh language. Thank you.

(My Lawyer said that I had to put that last thing. Sorry.)

Now, to start. As many of you know, from the fact that I'm always complaining about the poor selections of school lunches to fit my dietary needs, I am a vegetarian. Not a severly strict one, mind you, as I will occationally eat chicken or fish, but I am one all the same.

You see, in my family, if you do anything that puts in my grandparents' minds of hippies, you are following four annoying stages;

1) You are shunned.

2) Next, you are yelled at.

3) You are then starved.

4) finally, you are slowly accepted back into the family circle.

The shunning wasn't so bad. I'm used to being ignored at most family functions, as long as precious Lor Lor was in the room. With all her blond glory hogging the lime-light, I was used to sitting in the shadows, and I was glad to have some reason to be able to read over Christmas dinner (That's how I finished reading the Count of Monte Cristo for the thirtieth time).

The yelling was worse, but at least it was short-lived. My dear grandmother got laryngitis before she got very far in the act of permanently perforating my eardrums. Thank grapefruit I'm good at arguing. Even my throat hurt a bit after that, but it's something to do with the fact that she's some fifty years older than me.

The starving was the worst. The refused to cook anyting that was not at least 30% beef or pork content, making it hard to eat over there. I tried bringing viggi burgers over with me, but they wouldn't cook them, saying things like, "Dinner's already cooked," or, "Who's telling you that you have to eat like this? Just have a little bit of meat!". When I refuse, they go back to stage two, and give me a stick of asparigus to chew on.

I honestly wish that I could tell you about stage four, but I have yet to experiance it. I have not yet been forgiven for going over to the "dark side", as my gradma refers to it (She has never seen Star Wars. The only reason she uses this is because she's heard me joking about it and thinks that I'm being serious). I'm still waiting for that glorious moment of understanding where they will finally realize that I'm not trying to ruin their lives, and tat this is my personal choice, that their's no one telling me to do this...Well, if either of you are reading this (Which I'm sure you're not, as neither of you are very skilled in the area of computer sciences...or even in pressing the on button on your computer), I hope that you can finally realize this and "forgive me, although I have yet to figure out what I have done wrong.

For those of you who didn't find this post quite as amusing as others I've done, I'm sorry, But I was attempting to hit a more serious chord with this, as this is a real problem. Thanks for listening, and I hope that you agree with me.

Yours through Love and Lies,

Caity (Lynn)

Queen of the Emos, Eh?

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:10:50 -0400

Ohmygiddygodgracious. I can?t believe I?m finally writing again. Again again. It?s been almost three months?..Doesn?t seem like it, does it? Ok, maybe it does for you very few lame losers who hang on the every word of this blog. And I mean that in the most endearing way possible. I love all you losers. You know, in that normal-person-to-total-loser type way. Where you are the ?normal? person. Haha. I am such a comedian. Not.
Anyway, I have so many things I want to say. Many of which could most probably add me to hit lists of nut-bar serial killer. Alanna?.
First off, life in general has just been phishing me off. If the awful weather wasn?t bad enough, the fact that the world seems to have it in for me. As Alanna has SOOOOOO rightly said, we will both most likely be dead by the time we are twenty five, due to multiple near-death accidents. So you?ve only got to put up with me for a few more years. Good luck.
I got my hair cut two weeks ago. While I was searching for my new ?look? over the multiple millions of emo sites, I realized something; Emos will likely one day rule the world. I mean, there are so freakin? many of them! Oh my holy grapefruit, it?s actually scary. And they all look the SAME! Isn?t the whole point of Emo-ism to be original? Guess I misinterpreted that one, like I do with most things. So I told Alanna about this later, and She deduced that, when the Emos took over, they would need a King. Therefore, the obvious choice would be Andrew, the king of Abs. I mean, he?s already a ?king? in the loosest sense of the word. So, since every great king needs a queen, Alanna thinks she would be the best choice, since He is already in love with her, albeit that he doesn?t know it yet. Haha. So I came up with her future title: Queen Alanna of the Emos, and of all that is creepy and strange. Great, huh?
Moving on. I had the piano festival this week, and I crapped out. I played two pieces, When Rivers Flowed on Mars by Nancy Telfer, and Sonatina in F minor by Some Old Dead Guy That I Don?t Care About. Long name, huh? But When I played Rivers, I got as far as bar nine before I blanked out. I mean, I worked really hard on it, but I just forgot. Total mind wipe. Ack.
I rented the movie Juno last night. Has ANYONE else seen it? No? Thought as much. It was crappy. I laughed through the parts that were supposed to be ?touching?. Ack. Damn, I don?t want some freakin? movie ?touching? me. Haha. I am such the comic Genius.
Well, I think I?m done now. Hopefully you won?t have to wait too long again. Hopefully, no promises. Byee!

Luck and Love,
Caity Lou (Or, As 'Lanna now calls me, "Loooooooie". Haha)

10! 9! 8! 7...

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 00:00:53 -0500

Well, helow, all my wierd and wacky palls! It's time for...

Caity's Year-End Wrap-up!!!!!

Yep, it's the end of another year of insanity, so out with the old and in with the new! But before we throw out the trashbag that is the old, let's just take a moment to take a look through that old hunk 'o junk, shall we?!?!

Well, 2008 started out just like this one: Me writing some crapola page like this and showing it to any idiot who would stop and listen. Except then, I didn't have a blog. Or a webpage at all, really...

The rest of the year flew past in a whirlwind that I really want to forget, including being sent to the school shrink about thirty+ odd times, and getting into Enrichment. The school year started with a vair suttle *BANG!*, like always, and I imediatly knew just who to hate at this school. Remember him, Alanna? You know, the one who punched your nose in, and the one whom you said that you felt SORRY FOR?!?! yeah, no names, but lets just say that it starts with a S and ends in a ASHA.

Oops. My bad.

I did a whole lot of crazy and stupd things over the year, most of which I'd like to forget....but a few which with stay with me until the day I die. And I actually want them to stay there!

Even though this was short, I think that I've covered everything. If I missed anything, gimme a shout. And I have to say that I know, Alanna (and most probably Kaytlyn, too), that while I sit here writing this Year-End Wrap, you'll be sitting and eating you're own year-end wrap. Hope it's good.

Well, before I go, I just want to say thanks to all of you who've been so supportive of my insanity. I luv you guys! And for those of you who hate my guts...(coughJacecough)...well, I think I'm not alone in saying this, but SCREW YOU! No, not really, I luv all you guys too, just not as much.

And here come's the count-down! See ya later, Aligators!

And Crocodiles. They have feelings too.

6! 5! 4! 3!2!1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

The Simpsons and Me

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 08:48:04 -0500

Dear Blog-readers with no lives,

I have to say this, because I've gotten, like, eight comments asking about this. It concerns the theme music that I have on my home page. It concerns the question of my sanity. And it contains some people with yellow faces, and big bug-like eyes.

Yep, I'm talking about the Simpsons and me.

I realize that my theme music is now the Simpsons theme song, and I have to say that I did NOT put it there myself. I have issues, I know, but I'm not that crazy. Sorry, but no.

I honestly don't know how it got there, but I loged into my site yesterday, and it was just THERE! IT was just THERE! I'm SORRY! OK! It's not my fault, so just stop bugging me. Got it? I don't want to hear about it anymore, 'cuz I can't do anything about it. Thank you.

The Emo Crayon,

Caity Lou

p.s. and, in case you were wondering, I don't know the Simpsons. They didn't put it there for me. Thanks, but no.

Guitar Boot Camp

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 22:21:41 -0500

Okay, I have just spent the last five hours at Alanna's Crash Course Guitar Boot Camp. And I learned one song. How the bloody hell I managed to do that, I have no idea.

The main thing we did was sit and talk about random things like the un-named "guy" who has a major crush on her, and then laughing at her for her own major crush. I really enjoyed that part! Then we started talking to her friends on MSN, and then just kind of gave up.

Well, now that everyone knows how much I suck at guitar. Crash courses don't usually work that well on me. I generally give upbefore I really make any progress....mind you, Alanna didn't really help my almost non-existant attention span. And I mean "non-existant".

The Talent show is coming up soon, and if I don't have that song figured out by then, Alann will kill me. Mind you, I think that she just chose me to play was because she wants to do my makeup before we go on....

Your pal, the emo-baseball-playing-writer-with-bad-hair-and-no-skills-at-all.

a.k.a. Caity Lou

Why Do I Even Try?

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:22:44 -0500

Hello, world-wide Pallios. Ok, I've got some news about the site.

1. I've added a couple of new things, and it would be really nice if you pople would actually use them. Get it? Good. So, I added a Forum section, and, maybe, I could add a mailing list, so that I don't waste blog space with stupid news like this. So, if you like the mailing list idea, comment, and tell me, 'cuz, otherwise, I won't post it.

2. I added a new link, and if you don't check it out, I swear, I will hunt you down. No kidding, kidding....still....Anyway, the link is to my friend Alanna's site, Confessional Professional. I'm happy to report that not only did she get the ides from me, but she said that I'm a better writer! It's true, but still, it always feels good to here it from someone else...

Anyhoosies, I'm sitting at home right now, writing this while my dog eats my feet, and I eat little fruit gummies....if that's even what you'd call them....ah, whatever. It's all the same. To me, anyway.

I posted a new novel on Booksie, and it's coming along pretty good....It's called "See, a Vampire Novel"....Bet you can guess what that's about.

Well, I'd better go, I have homework....I know! I can't believe that I'm actually going to do it, either! But i don't care!

Never testing the depth of the water with both feet,

Caity, The Odd One

Annoying Kids

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 17:04:48 -0500

You know know that one kid? That one kid who is always in your class no matter how far away you move? That one kid who is so annoying that you either can't ever remember their name, or so annoying that you can't help but have their names pounding in your head until the day you die? Yeah, that kid is very much present in my class. In fact we have a couple of them, but I'm realy annoyed with one individual, who's name I will not say, for fear of them ever reading this, and to keep myself from getting in huge trouble. Oh, well.

I have nothing against kids who are annoying for a reason. You know, like ADHD, or some other reason. But being annoying for the sake of being annoying doesn't count. This "person" (if yo could call them that; I don't think that he's actually human) has an obsession with the USA, and did his french project of Ronald Regan. (BTW, the proect was supposed to be about our fav track star.) He sang a song about Sarah Palin in Foods class, for the sake of Grapefruit!!!!

God, HE is SOOOOOOO annoying!

Ciao, my pallios,

Caity

My Favourite Books of All Time

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 08:55:44 -0500

Well, It's almost time for me to go to school, so I'm going to waste what little time I have left and write something on here. And I'm going to write about the one thing I actually know;

Books.

Okay, so I'll make a list of my top five fav books. This......will be difficult. Narrowing it down, I mean.

1. Hard Love, and I forget who wrote it. It was a seriously awesome book, about these two teenage peoples who write these things called zines (Home-made magazines). It's really..different, but I'm probably the only person in the world who's actually read it.

Coming up at a close #2, Twilight! This I know the author of, though so does everyone else in the world. Stephanie Meyer. I'm pretty sure that anyone who knows how to work their computers has read that book (and if you're reading this, you must be able to work a computer). So you must know it, if not from reading it yourself, then from hearing about it from your friends.

Next, at #3, The City of Ember! Jeanne DuPrau, or at least something like that. This isn't as popular of a book, so I'll explain. Two kids live in the underground city of Ember, but the lights are going out, so they have to find a way out. That's pretty much the whole story line. End of Story (literally).

Numero 4 next! The Dear Dumb Diary series! By Jim Benton! SOOOOOO FUNNNNNNY! Anyone out there with a single funny bone in their bodies would love this!

And 5, the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson, By Louise Rennisson! I honestly have no idea how that name is spelt! It's a Brittish book, so it's hard to understand some of the words, but still, there's a glossary at the back! NOT ALL THAT HARD!!!!

So, that's may fav books in a rush. I would have elaborated a little more, but I wanted to finish this before school started, and I'm already late. Ciao!

Caity